With “Brave”, Pixar Gets All Medieval and Stuff

I don’t really like medieval/historical movies, but this is a Pixar movie. Brave tells the story of some redheaded girl living in a kingdom ruled by a king and queen. The liner notes say something about wishes and lords and something evil (I’m guessing).

The trailer gives zippo plot. It only has a whinnying horse and a giant bear, and our little heroine has to be brave–get it?–to kill the thing.

I don’t really care about plot. Why? Because it’s a Pixar movie. As soon as I saw the little lamp thing, I was sold. Pixar could just make a trailer with their logo and then some release date–nothing else–and I would be instantly excited.

With that, here’s the teaser for Brave, which opens next summer. The only downside to another cool Pixar film? The loooooooonnng wait.

“Footloose” Trailer: Wait, These Kids Are In High School?

Surprise: Paramount Pictures remade Footloose! The movie tells the story of a high school kid growing up in a small town where dancing has been outlawed. Why? ‘Cause three years before, five kids died in a car crash when they were coming home from a dance.

You’d expect there to be at least some ’80s songs in the movie, considering it’s a remake of the film that came out in 1984. HA HA HA HA! NO! This movie’s got as much bumpin’, grindin’, twistin’ and whatever other -in’ stuff kids do at dances today. What a faithful remake. *end sarcasm*

The movie’s two leads are some guy named Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough, from Dancing With the Stars. They both play high school kids, but…

mmkay.

Kenny Wormald IS 26 YEARS OLD. 26! What the heck?! Julianne Hough is also 22. They could have cast some actual high school students. Andie MacDowell and Dennis Quaid are in the movie too, but that just seems kind of out of the blue.

*sigh* Another terrible dance movie. Will studios ever learn? (I’m not surprised that MTV is a part of this, though.)

Bonus: Something much better from the Rotten Tomatoes Show, which gets it right every time.

“Pariah” Trailer

Sexual orientation comes up a lot these days, and it’s nice that we’re finally getting a movie about it. Sure, The Kids Are All Right was a movie about sexual orientation, but it was about the relationship between a brother and sister and their two moms. Pariah tells the story of an African-American girl named Alike (pronounced ah-lee-kay) discovering her sexuality and coming to terms with the fact that she is a lesbian.

Needless to say, the movie looks pretty dramatic and appears to have a lot of good performances. Her parents are played by Kim Wayans and Charles Parnell. Kim Wayans, as you might guess, is a member of the Wayans family of comedians. Sensing something here? Remember last year’s Oscars where Mo’Nique, also a comedian, took home the Best Supporting Actress award for her role in Precious? Hmmm…maybe lightning will strike twice. (Trivia: Precious was also directed by an openly gay man.)

All in all, Pariah is a very timely story. Thanks, Focus Features.

 

This “Colombiana” Trailer Never Forget Where It Came From

Some guy in the trailer for Colombiana keeps telling 9-year-old Zoe Saldana, “Never forget where you came from”. Now, if the movie focused on the girl, this would be a very different film. Luckily, thirty-something Zoe Saldana does know where she came from–if ya know what I mean–and she’s gonna use that knowledge to kill some people.

The movie is directed by Olivier Megaton, who also helmed Transporter 3, which I thought was a cheesy popcorn flick. I don’t know if it meant to take itself seriously or not, but this movie looks like it’s takin’ itself pretty seriously.

The trailer is very stylish and creative, with shaky studio logos and echo-y dialogue. I’m just hoping it’s not totally gussying up the movie to where it won’t be all that good. It’s good enough for a rental, though.

Colombiana hits theaters on August 26th. (Good thing I checked the website or I would have said September.)

Also: Did you see the poster? The “woman inside flower” motif has been used before, but it’s still a nice poster–not one for your typical action movie.

“Moneyball”: Cue Echo-y Inspirational Guitar Music

I’m not a sports fan, but I didn’t let that get me down watching the trailer for Moneyball. The movie was originally going to be directed by Steven Soderbergh, but Sony didn’t like his version of the movie and chose Bennett Miller (from Capote) instead. I would’ve preferred Soderbergh, but I guess Miller is okay.

The movie stars Brad Pitt as Billy Beane, the manager of Oakland’s baseball team, the Oakland A’s. Fed up with the rules of traditional baseball, he attempts to revolutionize the game with the help of Jonah Hill, who usually plays the loser sidekick but now plays a baseball expert–but still has that loser-ish feel.

Moneyball looks okay, but I bet if I were a baseball fan I’d like it better. What amazes me, though, is not the movie itself. It’s the studio–Sony Pictures, and their wide variety of films they’re making. Sony can put out this inspirational sports drama, a zany comedy like 30 Minutes or Less, and an awful-looking family film like The Smurfs all at the same time.

It’s pretty…inspirational. (In a way.)

Moneyball hits a home run into theaters on September 23rd.

“The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” Teaser Trailer: It’s David Fincher, So, Um, Yeah.

Looking for quick cuts and some Led Zeppelin in your movie trailers? The trailer for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is it. The movie is a remake of the Swedish original, itself based on the Millennium trilogy by Steig Larsson, which (as we all know) swept the nation last year.

The film is directed by David Fincher, from Fight Club and The Social Network. The trailer gives no story, but gives us a compilation of clips set to a screamy cover of “Immigrant Song” by Trent Reznor and Karen O. It’s a nicely edited trailer, and I like how the clips are timed to the song. (Can I just voice my approval of the “feel bad movie of Christmas” thing? I know others might not think that’s cool, but, yeh, I do.)

I haven’t read the books nor seen the Swedish movies, but I’d like to read one–if I can squeeze it in between Catching Fire, Mockingjay and If I Did It. I’ve heard it’s really violent though, and I got tons of other books I want to read this summer.

The one thing I can do, however, is watch a David Fincher movie. Ever since, well, this trailer, I’ve wanted to see one. Luckily, I purchased The Social Network at my local bookstore’s going-out-of-business sale (and yes, it was Borders).

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo hits theaters on December 21st.

 

“30 Minutes or Less” Trailer Promises A Comedy, And It Delivers (SO PUNNY!)

Who knew that a pizza delivery job could be so dangerous? In 30 Minutes or Less, Jesse Eisenberg plays a pizza guy who is thrust into a bank heist by two guys in ape masks after a delivery gone wrong, and takes his best friend (Aziz Ansari) along for the ride.

This is one of Sony’s summer comedies (every year around this time they seem to put out a comedy), and it looks like it could be comedic. Ansari is from the funny NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation, and so is Nick Swardson, who plays one of the criminals.

The only bad thing is: it’s “loosely” based on the true story of Brian Wells, a bank robber/pizza guy who got a bomb strapped to his neck and was forced to rob a bank. After he was apprehended, the bomb exploded, killing him.

But, c’mon. Sony probably knew about this before they made the movie and had the respect to at least tone down the zaniness a bit. You did do that, right, Sony?

…Please?

30 Minutes or Less hits August 12th.