Popcorn Bytes

I like movie trailers. So sue me.

“A Thousand Words” Trailer: Eddie Murphy Has To Shut Up (No, Really, It’s The Plot of the Movie)

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard that (a) Tower Heist director Brett Ratner has deemed that rehearsals are for gays only, (b) he resigned from producing the Oscars after word got out, and (c) Tower Heist star Eddie Murphy has dropped out of hosting the show maybe-possibly as a result.

So, um, yeah. It’s been a messy week in Hollywood.

Now who’s up for a trailer for an Eddie Murphy movie?! 


Where are you going?

…please come back!

*ahem.* A Thousand Words stars Murphy as a literary agent who loves words–meaning he loves to talk. Books and gibber gabber! What a coincidence! Unfortunately, things take a turn for the unnerving (read: high-larious) when he makes a deal with some spiritual Deepak Chopra-type, and a bonsai tree suddenly pops up in his front yard. This begs the question, “How could that happen in an otherwise normal world?”, but unfortunately the trailer fails to answer it. Moving on!

Murphy learns that the tree only has 1,000 leaves on it, and each time he says a word, a leaf falls off. He only has 999 words left to speak before he dies! And he loves to talk! WHAT IS HE TO DO?!!! Well, in traditional Murphy fashion, he must come up with a new form of communication–mostly involving grunts, clapping, and other strange hand motions/noises.

The timing of this trailer is just awkward, and the movie doesn’t look too good, either. What a sad, sad time to be Eddie Murphy.

A Thousand Words hits theaters in–I don’t know. But it’s going to be in theaters sometime soon.


Written by prowlermoviepoll

November 10, 2011 at 5:57 PM

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“21 Jump Street” Trailer: That Guy From “Step Up” and Jonah Hill Go Undercover!

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Some of us may remember 21 Jump Street, the 80s crime TV show that helped launch the careers of Johnny Depp and–well, he’s pretty much it. The series was about a group of po-lice officers who had the good luck (or bad luck) to be able to pass as teenagers and solve crimes. Now the show is getting the big-screen treatment as Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill become our two main characters.

They play two gung-ho albeit inept cops who discover that their job isn’t as exciting as they had hoped. When they finally make their first bust but fail to comprehend the finer points of police procedure, Nick Offerman (of Parks and Recreation fame) tasks them to head out to 21 Jump Street, in which they’ll finally get to go undercover.

Their job: to pose as high school students and take down the dealer of a drug ring. Oh, and did I mention that Ice Cube is their captain at 21 Jump? Ice Cube. This just might redeem him for Are We There Yet? and Are We Done Yet?. Nobody mention those movies anymore.

21 Jump Street looks okay. The supporting cast (including the aforementioned Offerman, Cube, and also The Daily Show’s Rob Riggle) really seem to outshine Tatum and Hill in this trailer, so I’m hoping they have some good scenes on their own.

The movie hits theaters in March.


Written by prowlermoviepoll

November 4, 2011 at 7:24 PM

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“We Need to Talk About Kevin” Trailer: Tilda Swinton Makes Shocked Faces! (Oscar-Worthy Shocked Faces)

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The plot of We Need to Talk About Kevin is simple. John C. Reilly and Tilda Swinton raise a beautiful young boy named Kevin. Then he grows up and turns psycho.

Everyone’s talking about Tilda Swinton’s performance in this movie, and I have to agree, it looks like she’s going to do a great job. The trailer mostly shows us shocked faces, but I hope there’s more to it than that. This movie definitely looks interesting and intriguing, and I’d like to see how it all plays out.

We Need to Talk About Kevin hits theaters in February.

Written by prowlermoviepoll

November 2, 2011 at 7:49 PM

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“Act of Valor”: Courage…Loyalty…Honor…EXPLOSIONS!!!!

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Vince Mancini over at FilmDrunk summed up the trailer for Act of Valor best when he said that it looked like “a 90-minute military recruitment film”, and I have to agree.

The movie is a war/action film, but instead of using real actors, they use active duty Navy SEALs. That’s nice, I guess. The trailer also tells us that while the story isn’t real, the weapons and stuff are. The film tells the story of a group of SEALs who are trying to rescue someone (or something, I can’t really tell what) and then they stumble on something dangerous. Who cares about plot anyway, LET’S BLOW STUFF UP! AND JUMP OUT OF PLANES! AND SING SNOW PATROL SONGS!

I’m not trying to mock the military here, and I don’t really want to get into any debates or anything. While I’m sure the SEALs do a lot to serve the USA, this movie just seems made for an audience that loves playing those war video games. The plot takes a backseat to explosions and over-dramatized truisms. I admit, the movie looks pretty (filming techniques, lighting, camerawork), but it almost seems like someone at Relativity said, “Hey! Let’s make a movie out of Call of Duty. It’ll be just like the game, except we can…I don’t know. But let’s make that happen.”

In fact, I’m wondering if this movie is just a small part of a bigger picture, oh, say, a tie-in for a video game. They wouldn’t do that, right? I think I’ll check the trailer and–

Yep. There it is. “PLAY BATTLEFIELD 3 BEFORE IT HIS STORES! and oh yeah see that one war movie too.”

Act of Valor hits theaters on February 17th. *gratuitous explosion*


Written by prowlermoviepoll

October 21, 2011 at 6:31 PM

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“Chronicle”: Teens Get Superpowers, Decide to Film the Whole Thing

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Now here’s an interesting premise. Take a “found-footage” movie like Cloverfield or Paranormal Activity, but instead of haunted houses and monsters, add superheroes instead. Teenage superheroes. The result: Chronicle, a new sci-fi film set for release in 2012.

The movie tells the story of four teenagers, played by nobody in particular, who stumble upon a secret underground cave and suddenly acquire superpowers. They initially use them to play pranks on each other and unsuspecting bystanders, but when one of the kids uses them to cause harm instead of fun, their lives are changed forever.

Overall it looks pretty promising. I like how they save the “discovery” portion of the trailer for last, and I’m glad we’ve finally found some other use for the found footage genre besides horror. If this is as good as it looks, it might make me forgive Fox for putting out all of their other crap movies. (Maybe.)

Chronicle hits theaters sometime in 2012; check http://www.facebook.com/Chronicle for updates.

Written by prowlermoviepoll

October 19, 2011 at 7:46 PM

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“This Means War”: Like “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, If Mr. Smith Had A British Friend and They Were Dating the Same Girl (That’s Pretty Much It)

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In This Means War, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy play two CIA operatives who are also best friends (at least when we first meet them). When they discover they’re both dating the same woman (played by Reese Witherspoon), their friendship descends into an all-out battle for love involving paintball guns, fistfights, and bombs that threatens to kill one (or both) of them by the movie’s end. It’s like Bride Wars but with dudes.

The movie is directed by McG, whose real name is Joseph McGinty Nichol, according to his Wikipedia page. Unfortunately, his uncle and grandfather were also named Joe, so his mother gave him the nickname McG. At first, he was a director of music videos, but his work has branched out into a number of movies. Let’s take a look at what he’s done.

It’s three against one. This can’t be good.

This Means War hits theaters on President’s Day. Our Founding Fathers would have surely appreciated two guys using our nation’s resources to kill each other win over Reese Witherspoon.

Written by prowlermoviepoll

October 13, 2011 at 6:41 PM

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“Carnage”: It’s Like a Fight on the Playground, But With 30- to 50-Year-Olds

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There’s a TV sitcom on ABC called “The Middle”, about a family living a normal, average life in the middle of nowhere Indiana. The show tries to present the group as your everyday clan, but it’s not funny and the husband and wife get into a huge fight almost every episode, which makes everything depressing and sad. Luckily, Roman Polanski is here to give us an example of how to do a brawl the right way and actually make it funny.

Enter the trailer for Carnage, an indie comedy/drama that was screened at this year’s New York Film Festival and the Venice Film Festival. The movie tells the story of two couples: one played by Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz and the other played by Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly. When Foster and Reilly’s son gets into a fight with Waltz and Winslet’s son that involves some physical abuse, the two couples meet to talk it out together. Unfortunately, an evening of patience and understanding slowly delves into one of outrage and, well, carnage.

The movie hits theaters in December.

Written by prowlermoviepoll

October 12, 2011 at 5:58 PM

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