“Act of Valor”: Courage…Loyalty…Honor…EXPLOSIONS!!!!

Vince Mancini over at FilmDrunk summed up the trailer for Act of Valor best when he said that it looked like “a 90-minute military recruitment film”, and I have to agree.

The movie is a war/action film, but instead of using real actors, they use active duty Navy SEALs. That’s nice, I guess. The trailer also tells us that while the story isn’t real, the weapons and stuff are. The film tells the story of a group of SEALs who are trying to rescue someone (or something, I can’t really tell what) and then they stumble on something dangerous. Who cares about plot anyway, LET’S BLOW STUFF UP! AND JUMP OUT OF PLANES! AND SING SNOW PATROL SONGS!

I’m not trying to mock the military here, and I don’t really want to get into any debates or anything. While I’m sure the SEALs do a lot to serve the USA, this movie just seems made for an audience that loves playing those war video games. The plot takes a backseat to explosions and over-dramatized truisms. I admit, the movie looks pretty (filming techniques, lighting, camerawork), but it almost seems like someone at Relativity said, “Hey! Let’s make a movie out of Call of Duty. It’ll be just like the game, except we can…I don’t know. But let’s make that happen.”

In fact, I’m wondering if this movie is just a small part of a bigger picture, oh, say, a tie-in for a video game. They wouldn’t do that, right? I think I’ll check the trailer and–

Yep. There it is. “PLAY BATTLEFIELD 3 BEFORE IT HIS STORES! and oh yeah see that one war movie too.”

Act of Valor hits theaters on February 17th. *gratuitous explosion*

 

“Chronicle”: Teens Get Superpowers, Decide to Film the Whole Thing

Now here’s an interesting premise. Take a “found-footage” movie like Cloverfield or Paranormal Activity, but instead of haunted houses and monsters, add superheroes instead. Teenage superheroes. The result: Chronicle, a new sci-fi film set for release in 2012.

The movie tells the story of four teenagers, played by nobody in particular, who stumble upon a secret underground cave and suddenly acquire superpowers. They initially use them to play pranks on each other and unsuspecting bystanders, but when one of the kids uses them to cause harm instead of fun, their lives are changed forever.

Overall it looks pretty promising. I like how they save the “discovery” portion of the trailer for last, and I’m glad we’ve finally found some other use for the found footage genre besides horror. If this is as good as it looks, it might make me forgive Fox for putting out all of their other crap movies. (Maybe.)

Chronicle hits theaters sometime in 2012; check http://www.facebook.com/Chronicle for updates.

“This Means War”: Like “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, If Mr. Smith Had A British Friend and They Were Dating the Same Girl (That’s Pretty Much It)

In This Means War, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy play two CIA operatives who are also best friends (at least when we first meet them). When they discover they’re both dating the same woman (played by Reese Witherspoon), their friendship descends into an all-out battle for love involving paintball guns, fistfights, and bombs that threatens to kill one (or both) of them by the movie’s end. It’s like Bride Wars but with dudes.

The movie is directed by McG, whose real name is Joseph McGinty Nichol, according to his Wikipedia page. Unfortunately, his uncle and grandfather were also named Joe, so his mother gave him the nickname McG. At first, he was a director of music videos, but his work has branched out into a number of movies. Let’s take a look at what he’s done.

It’s three against one. This can’t be good.

This Means War hits theaters on President’s Day. Our Founding Fathers would have surely appreciated two guys using our nation’s resources to kill each other win over Reese Witherspoon.

“Carnage”: It’s Like a Fight on the Playground, But With 30- to 50-Year-Olds

There’s a TV sitcom on ABC called “The Middle”, about a family living a normal, average life in the middle of nowhere Indiana. The show tries to present the group as your everyday clan, but it’s not funny and the husband and wife get into a huge fight almost every episode, which makes everything depressing and sad. Luckily, Roman Polanski is here to give us an example of how to do a brawl the right way and actually make it funny.

Enter the trailer for Carnage, an indie comedy/drama that was screened at this year’s New York Film Festival and the Venice Film Festival. The movie tells the story of two couples: one played by Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz and the other played by Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly. When Foster and Reilly’s son gets into a fight with Waltz and Winslet’s son that involves some physical abuse, the two couples meet to talk it out together. Unfortunately, an evening of patience and understanding slowly delves into one of outrage and, well, carnage.

The movie hits theaters in December.

“The Avengers”: It’s Every Little Boy’s Dream Come True

If you watched Iron Man 2 or any of the other Marvel comic book movies that came out recently, you know that Samuel L. Jackson has become a central part of the story arc. He’s a member of S.H.I.E.L.D., a secret organization that sets out to form an elite team of superheroes who can save the day and/or the world if need be.

And heeeeeyyyy, it looks like their time has come with The Avengers! Cars are blowing up and some guy is being creepy and evil, so it’s time to call in Iron Man, the Black Widow, Captain America, Thor, Hawkeye, and the Incredible Hulk to fight together on their first mission. (With Iron Man/Tony Stark making tons of awesome wisecracks along the way, of course.)

The Avengers hits theaters in May.

“Young Adult”: Charlize Theron Is Quiet, Quirky, and Has A PUPPYYYYY!!!!!

There’s not much I can say about this trailer because it just…is. I can’t write a pithy hook or anything. It’s not boring, it’s just…nice.

In Young Adult, Charlize Theron plays Mavis Beacon I mean, Mavis Gary, who writes teen novels. She comes back to her hometown, finds that high school sweetheart Patrick Wilson is married with children, so she tries get him back. Oh, and she also dates Patton Oswalt. That’s pretty much it. This is less zany than a romantic comedy (and that’s not a bad thing).

The movie has a pretty good pedigree: it’s directed by Jason Reitman, who also did Thank You for Smoking, Up in the Air, and (I didn’t know this) an SNL sketch called “Death by Chocolate”. Additionally, it’s written by Diablo Cody, famous for penning Juno and Jennifer’s Body.

Patton Oswalt is funny and it’s nice to see just a “quiet” movie for a change instead of big-budget actioners or even a thriller. One other thing I love about this trailer are the scenes in which Theron converses with the Hampton Inn girl and the assistant at Macy’s. I could just watch two hours of Charlize Theron interacting with clerks and attendants at various shopping establishments.

Young Adult hits theaters soon.