Popcorn Bytes

I like movie trailers. So sue me.

“The Smurfs” Teaser Trailer: Nothing is More Painful Than This

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Are you feeling all happy and giddy from the Despicable Me trailer I posted yesterday? Are you confident that this trailer is going to be just like that one, a break from the usual kiddie crap?

Well, quit being so confident. It’s cliche time.

This movie recycles that old tradition where if you don’t have a story for your characters, plop ‘em in America. New York City, to be exact. And that’s just one cliche. This trailer recycles every single one.

Let me be clear: Every single one. There’s the serious-sounding opening, complete with foreboding music. Shots of famous landmarks, like the Eiffel Tower and Mount Rushmore. (And Times Square. We can’t have a cliche’d trailer without Times Square.) There’s a satellite view of the East Coast, which zooms us down to New York City. The Earth-zooming thing is, you guessed it, another cliche.  The “Surprise” moment later on, where a large chunk of text crushes the city, another cliche. Had enough yet? Well, too bad…

There’s the large, obnoxious, in-your-face blue text on the title cards that zooms towards us, always a kids film cliche. The trailer is set to “Wild Thing”, the tag music for every horrible kids movie ever made. There’s the only-pretending-to-be-rude cuss phrase, in this case, “Smurf Happens”. I can see you getting faint. There’s the all-star cast, like George Lopez, Katy Perry (?!), Neil Patrick Harris, Sofia Vergara. (Yes. From Modern Family. Why, Sofia, WHY?)  And, of course, IT’S IN 3D! This one sweeps!

Yep. The Smurfs, the movie. Ruining your childhood, summer 2011. Get ready.

 

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Written by prowlermoviepoll

June 18, 2010 at 3:44 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

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